Draft Bust

The 72 Million Dollar Man

Brock Osweiler, Houston Texan fans I know you all have went through a tough time lately with your quarterbacks but try to remain positive. I wanted to wait a week or two before throwing in my take on the situation just to make sure that Savage didn’t royally screw himself out of a starting position but your team has benched the 72 million dollar man Brock Osweiler! Isn’t that great? Your QB is now Tom “Not Brock Osweiler” Savage who has won you 2 games in a row! Let’s break down why this is great for your team.
1. Brock’s stats are terrible.
On the year, Brock has 14 touchdowns to 16 interceptions. That is no bueno for a QB in the NFL. Even more so for a man who was paid $72 million to save your franchise. Let me repeat that, $37 million guaranteed. I know every player needs time to develop but holy shit when you’re paying $72 million you have to believe you’re already getting a developed product and not a work in progress player as we’ve seen thus far.
2. Savage has upside.
Okay so this past week against the Bengals, Tom Savage didn’t have an impressive stat line but that’s okay! Savage went 18 of 29 for 176 yards for a completion percentage of 62.1. He didn’t make any bad decisions that would ultimately cost his team the game. The week before against Jacksonville is when Savage replaced Osweiler who went 6 of 11 for 48 yards and 2 picks. Savage went 23 of 36 for 260 yards. He did not have any TDs but he did not throw any interceptions. That is something a coach can work with.
3. Breathe life into Deandre Hopkins
This season there has been a dip in production from Deandre Hopkins. Osweiler is solely to blame for this. Last year Nuk put together an extremely impressive season with 1521 receiving yards and 11 TDs from a myriad of QBs. This year he only has 831 yards and 4 TDs. So there are one of two things going on here. Either Nuk died on the field half way through the season or his QB can’t throw the ball to save his life. I’m going with the latter.
Oh and by the way, Nuk finished with 8 receptions for 87 yards in the Jags in which Osweiler was benched. That was his second receiving yards in a game this season.
4. Save money now before it is too late.
In my opinion the best thing to do would be to cut Osweiler in the offseason. Next year he is guaranteed $16 million base salary and if cut he would cost the Texans $25 million. It will be $6 million less to keep Osweiler on the roster. If I were the Texans’ front office I would cut his ass and start over. Stop sinking money into this investment. Everyone has seen what he brings to the table. Throws are off mark, he makes terrible reads, and he looks like a baby back bitch when he tries to blame his receivers for his ineptitude at running the offense.
5. Tom Savage can order a pizza without getting punked.
Okay so I’ve never seen Tom Savage order a pizza but I’d like to imagine that he could successfuly order a delicious pizza and be able to walk into a restaurant to pick it up without being hassled by some goon. We all know you got punked Brock. Next time use some of that guaranteed $37 million to order delivery and save yourself the embarrassment. I’d like to think if I got called out and made to look like a bitch at a pizzeria my wife would have the sack to join in on the shit talking. I mean damn son, how hard is it to pick up a fucking pizza?
Texan fans, your team is in the playoffs and you have your best bet at QB for the remainder of the season. Just be thankful that the coaching staff figured this shit out before going into next season. It is obvious to see that Brock isn’t the answer for your team nor is he the man you’d want to send to pick up a pizza.

 

Yo, this is my pizza!

Yo, this is my pizza!

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